This year, I resolved to change up my workout routine and find the joy in exercise. I'm doing well overall and feel like I'm keeping the resolution. At this point, I've finished 33/300 miles for the year, kept on track with the 100 Push-Up Challenge, done #plankaday almost every single night, started the #64ozchallenge, and added in a few new types of exercise. I'm signed up for a Pure Barre class on Tuesday and I've started back with Tae Bo. I feel stronger and I know I'm working muscles that I've previously ignored.
I've previously shared that things are a bit stressful at work right now. I'm used to stress and as a problem-solver, I tend to thrive in it. This stress is a little different though. This stress had me a little worried and caused me to doubt myself. That's not a good scenario for me.
On Friday, I worked from home because I had several heads-down tasks that needed to be done and I wanted to focus. I planned to spend the lunch hour with Billy Blanks and my Tae Bo DVD. I was going out to dinner with my husband on Friday night and wanted to burn some major calories so I could indulge in wine and dessert. My lunchtime workout was interrupted by work. My IM kept flashing and email kept coming in and my cell phone was ringing. It turns out that I didn't do a great job of communicating a project with my team and as a result they were worried about it. I felt like I goofed and that didn't help the self-confidence that was already wavering.
I'm horomonal and all I wanted was salt. The last phone call was the beginning of my potato chip fueled downward spiral. Before I knew it, I had eaten 800 calories worth of kettle chips while reading and rereading my notes from my project plan. I managed to put the rest of the chips away and pull myself together. I was still frustrated and dinner out with the hubs wasn't great. I ended up being over my calorie goal for the day, which stressed me out even more.
Yesterday was more of the same. I was feeling stressed and just wanted chocolate and salt. I ate too much bad stuff but kept pounding water for the #64ozchallenge. I was so full that I felt like I could vomit. This is my natural reaction to bingeing. I don't even have to gag...even after 10 years, my body still naturally ties to purge when I eat way too much. I found myself in the bathroom, trying not to vomit and realzied that I've quickly hit a breaking point. I've lost control because I'm stressed and I need to kick myself in the ass.
Stress is, well, stressful. But this is life and life is full of stressful events. I have to get over it. My family shouldn't have to deal with my weird moods, poor food choices or ultimately, poor health because I'm stressed out. I have an obligation to pull myself up by my bootstraps and move forward.
So I have. I scheduled a massage for next weekend. I woke up and drank lots of water. I fixed a healthy breakfast for my family and then went outside to shovel snow. I shoveled our driveway and sidewalk and just kept going. I listened to upbeat music and shoveled three of my neighbors sidewalks and I felt much better. I came inside cold, but sweaty and invigorated. I've finished a work project, meal planned and cleaned. I feel like the Energizer Bunny and that's when I thrive.
I'm going to keep focusing on the positive and try to stop stressing because it's not healthy. I'd like my Mamavation sisters to help. Please check in on me via Twitter occasionally over the next few weeks and ask me how things are going. I know that things will be tumultuous this month and I'd love to feel your support. Let me know how I can support you too!