Self-Confidence

We are in the early stages of a massive restructuring at work.  As a result, I'm not sure who my boss will be, what my role will be (if I'm still employed at the end of this), or where my office will be located. We've been told that we will all need to interview for the new roles in the new structure, but those haven't been finalized yet.  I have great faith in my current boss and since learning this news two weeks ago, have been confident that both he and the rest of our team will handle the new structure well.  Most of the time, I have good thoughts and believe that I will have a solid role in the new structure, but there are moments when I'm not so confident.  I've been told that I'm valued and that I don't need to worry about finding a job outside of our company.  That being said, there are moments when I worry that they're just hinting at the fact that I will likely have a role, but there's no guarantee that the role will be at my same level or compensation.

I just blogged about how wonderful N's education is and then literally, two minutes after scheduling the post, I checked the mail and discovered her 2013-2014 school contract with a due date of late February.  I'm afraid to sign the contract and jinx myself.  If I sign it, am I being overly confident in my employment situation?  What happens if I sign the contract and then my work life falls apart?  I won't know what's happening with my job for a couple of months, so I'm freaked out.  

After opening the mail, I came upstairs to get some work done while N played.  I was sitting at my computer with her behind me, playing on her keyboard.  Given my stress level after opening the contract, the noise of her banging on the keys was driving me berserk and I was trying really hard not to snap.  I turned around to look at her and she smiled and asked me to play with her.  Then she squeezed my face and said "Mommy, let's do something fun."  I crawled on the floor with her and started spelling out names with her letter blocks.  After a few minutes, she pulled out her toy helicopter and asked me to help because she couldn't get it to turn on.  I simply flipped a hidden switch and it started working.  She responded with "You fixed it! Mommy, you always fix things."

This child has faith in me that I don't always have in myself.  She's right though - I do always fix things.  From her perspective, that means cleaning up messes and fixing boo boos, but I am a naturally a problem solver.  If I end up in a difficult employment situation, or worse, if I end up unemployed, I will find a way to fix it.  I'll prove myself and be promoted or I'll find another job.  I'm going to trust her comment and follow the confidence she has in me and just sign the contract. 

The Application of Knowledge in PreK

 The tuition for N’s school is increasing next year.  I’m not surprised…when we began the process of selecting a school, I quickly learned that it was going to be expensive and continue to become even more so.  This is what we signed up for.  However, when my husband saw the tuition increases, he pretty much flipped out.  The expiration of the Bush tax cuts definitely impacted our wallets in January and it was a little scary to see how that will track through to our attempts at saving.  We’re now feeling like any annual merit raises we receive will go straight to the cost of N’s education and we’re worried about how we save up enough to do all the things we hope to over the next few years. 

The saving grace in our house this week was the regular newsletter from the Director of N’s school.  My husband saw the newsletter and immediately texted me to make sure I read it right away.  The theme was “Cultivating Understanding Through Learning by Doing.”  Here’s a snippet:

Recently, the parent of a Pre-K student shared with me a conversation she had with her daughter about artists.  The parent was telling her daughter that her favorite artist is Matisse.  Her young daughter responded enthusiastically, and proceeded to tell her mother about Matisse.  The parent was amazed her young daughter knew about Matisse and knew specific things about him.  It is a true mark of understanding when a child can take information and apply it in a new context.   I was not surprised when she shared this story with me.  Her daughter learned about Matisse in the context of learning about shapes and color.  She made connections with things she was very familiar with and she created her own designs, in the same way that Matisse had.  She is developing an understanding of what it means to be an artist and how artists convey ideas from their minds to others through their art.  As Einstein said, understanding something deeply allows us to convey information in a simple, direct way.  When we truly understand we can express ourselves clearly, and we can apply what we know to new situations.  Developing understanding is critical in learning.

I’m the parent she’s referring to and N is the daughter.  The story is 100% true and when I shared it with the Director, I was expressing my gratitude for how broad N’s learning experience has been this year.  I am wildly impressed by the things she tells me.  This morning, for example, the first thing she told me was that it’s Groundhog Day.  She then asked me if we could watch the groundhog because she wanted to know if he was going to see his shadow.  She sang a song about the holiday and knew all about dear Phil, including the words from the annual proclamations!  After breakfast, I checked the news and told her that Phil didn’t see his shadow.  She responded with “That means that Spring will be here soon.  Yay for warm weather and the sun!”  I let her watch the video of the event online and understood it.  She’s three years old, people!  It’s amazing to me that she fully comprehends these concepts.  The school Director is right, it’s because they allow the students to learn by doing and apply their knowledge. 

Between seeing the mention of our daughter in the school newsletter and hearing her go on and on about Punxsutawney Phil, I think that both my dear husband and I are over the tuition hike concern.  J

The Origin of "Subaru Mom"

I'm not the type of person to use the name of my car as my online identity, so I thought I'd share where I came up with this blog name as well as my Twitter handle, @subarumom09.

When I moved to Seattle in 2002, my first impression was that in order to become a Seattleite, you needed a North Face ski jacket and a Subaru Outback.  Despite the potential brand-snootiness, I was in love.  On my third day in the city - literally,  I went to a ski shop in Northgate and purchased the beloved powder blue coat that I still wear.  I instantly started to feel like I was ready to live in Seattle.  I know that material items aren't keys to living in any city, but the jacket helped ease me into the lifestyle.  I moved to the West Coast on my own and it was the beginning of my adult life.  Although I got the coat right away, I wasn't so quick to procure the Subaru.  In fact, I didn't buy the Subaru until I moved back east several years later.

In 2007, my husband and I decided that we needed to leave Seattle and move a little closer to home on the east coast.  As a result of moving to a city with less public transportation, we needed to buy a second car.  We immediately started looking at Subarus and fell in love.  We bought one a little before the birth of our daughter in 2009 and it has been great for our family.  We're in the market for another car and are close to pulling the trigger on another one. I totally buy into the "Love. It's what makes a Subaru, a Subaru" slogan.

Despite the adoration for my car, the real origin on "Subaru Mom" is from a novel I read recently, "Where'd You Go, Bernadette." There's a lot to like in this book and I identified with several aspects.  First, it's based in Seattle and takes many jabs at Microsoft's executives.  I've been around a handful of them in real life and found the book to be a dead-on depiction of my experiences in their presence. Also, early in the book, the author shares insights on elite private schools and the types of parents they attract.  The Galer Street School has too many "Subaru Parents" and wants to bring in more "Mercedes Parents."  When I read this particular passage, I ran downstairs to my husband who was cooking dinner (BTW, yay for a great husband!) and read it to him.  For background, you should know that my daughter attends a competitive independent school and even during the admission process, I noticed how these were the two classes of parents.  We're either slightly hipstery, granola-loving Subaru Forester/Outback or Honda CRV drivers, or Mercedes/Land Rover driving parents who wear Lululemon workout gear and simultaneously carrying $3,000 handbags.  Although I'm a member of the former group, I really enjoy interacting with all the parents at the school...I'm just aware of the differences.  Anyway, I poured through the book in a few hours because I was so excited to find something that I so closely experienced.  Hence, I decided to become "Subaru Mom."

Photo via Patricia Wall/The New York Times

I'm not a book reviewer, so I'm sharing the NY Times review for your reading pleasure.  Obviously, I highly recommend it. I just ordered Maria Semple's first novel, "This One Is Mine" and will let you know if it is as good.